INT. PATTERSON’S KITCHEN (cell phone RINGS) MATT PATTERSON I'll get it…Hello? Hey, Joyce. Any word yet? What? I don't understand. What credit cards? Got any credit cards we don't know about? LISA PATTERSON No. MATT PATTERSON But, I mean, we never even got a past-due notice. Maryland? No, there has to be some sort of mistake. We don't even live there. Can we get a copy of the credit report? That's not our address. Well, who should I talk to? Look, I understand, but... And the bank? What about the loan? All right. Okay. Thanks for calling. LISA PATTERSON What did she say? MATT They apparently can't approve the loan for the new house. We've got three delinquent credit card accounts. LISA That's impossible. We only have the... MATT It's not even our address. They're billed to an address in Maryland. LISA Maryland? MATT I know, it's crazy. LISA What about the house? INT. UPSCALE BACHELOR’S PAD DARRELL Man…I gotta get me one of these. NICK Oh yeah. It's nice, right? I picked it up last week. It's amazing what you can do with good credit…Man, check this out. I paid this guy like 500 bucks to get me system access to the ISP. DARRELL Run that by me again in English. NICK It's simple. I got like thousands of E-mail accounts that I got access to. I can see people's personal stuff that they get without them knowing it. See this mailbox here? This guy’s name is Patterson. Patterson lives over in Wildwood. He just sent out a file. You know what that is? That's a copy of last year's tax return. That Señor Patterson was sending to his real-state agent. Dude, we just take the names and the Social Security numbers, open up a couple credit cards in his name. Boom! DARRELL Won't they catch on? NICK No man. Hell, no! Even if they do, it'll be long after you've got a pinball machine in your crib. DARRELL Sweet! What can I do? NICK You can…help out with the shopping sprees. Keep what we want. Pawn the rest. I love computers. INT. NIGHTCLUB DARRELL We need to stop hitting mailboxes before somebody gets smart. NICK It's no sweat. You know my new girl, Mandy? She works in payroll at this big place over in Adamsburg. She's gonna start hooking us up. Employment applications. All kinds of stuff from over there. DARRELL Ain't she gonna know we're up to something? NICK Nah. I told her I needed the info for telemarketing. I said it would increase my commissions if I got new names for the list. "Baby, if they don't want to buy, they can just hang up." I told her we wanted applications from the people they didn't hire. That way, no way it comes back on us. DARRELL You think she's cool? NICK Hell yeah, man. She's got a kid and stuff. She don't care where the free dinners are coming from, as long as they keep coming. DARRELL That's brutal. NICK Speak of the devil. There's my baby. MANDY Come dance with me. INT. OFFICE RECEPTIONIST (O.C.) Hi. Can I help you? INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Yeah. I'm Postal Inspector Alan Goddard. I'm looking for Mandy Richards. RECEPTIONIST (O.C.) This is Mandy. GODDARD Hi. Mandy Richards? I'm Postal Inspector Alan Goddard. This is my partner, Inspector Niece. Is there some place we can talk in private? MANDY I guess we can go into the break room. GODDARD Yeah, that'd be fine. INT. OFFICE BREAK ROOM GODDARD You recognize this man? MANDY Yeah, that's my boyfriend, Nick. Is he in some kind of trouble? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE You're both in trouble, Mandy. You want to tell us about the employment applications you've been giving to him? MANDY He's been using those to do some telemarketing. (NICK FLASHBACK: “Hooking us up.”) GODDARD What if I told you he's been using them illegally, and he's running a mail-fraud scam? What if I told you that makes you an accessory to a Federal crime? MANDY I don't know anything about that. NIECE Your boyfriend slipped up, Mandy. He bought a car a few weeks ago on someone else's credit. Then he turned around and sold it for some quick cash, but he forgot to clean it up first. Guess what we found under the seat (holds up some employment applications). It didn't take long to figure out where he got this. MANDY I didn't know. He said no one was gonna get in trouble. GODDARD Mandy, we believe you. But I’m not sure a jury will. Why don't you help yourself? MANDY Look. I didn't know. I swear. I cannot go to jail. My little girl. NIECE Be smart, Mandy. We can't promise anything. But we'll tell the U.S. Attorney you cooperated, if you help us with Nick. MANDY What do I have to do? EXT. OFFICE PARKING LOT NICK Mandy, baby, what's up? MANDY Don't come here with that. You've been playing me. NICK What you talking about? I'm straight with you. MANDY You keep telling me you're using these for telemarketing. You get a new car every couple months. You move from one nice place to the other. You don't make that kind of cash talking on the phone. NICK I told you it's all commission. Plus we got that computer thing going. There's those websites. MANDY What kind of fool do you think I am? I'm not gonna risk my job so you can spend money on some tramp. NICK Baby, it's not like that. MANDY Look, I got a kid to think about. Until you cut me for some of the money, you can forget about these applications. NICK Mandy, you know I ain't got no other woman. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. There's no scam. DARRELL Hey, man, we ain't got all day! MANDY Yeah, did you meet Darrell in church? DARRELL All right, look. We got a little thing going. Okay? It's no big deal. We're just opening some credit-card accounts in these folk's names, pop them for a few grand at a time. Listen, baby. The credit-card companies cover the money. Nobody's getting hurt. MANDY You're crazy. I could go to jail for helping you with this stuff. Who's gonna take care of my little girl then? NICK Listen, baby. I'm telling you, it's nothing. It's like we max out these credit cards, right? We keep paying the minimum on the bill. Nobody ever suspects a thing. Listen, I been taking care of you, right? What do you think's been paying for these nice clothes and stuff, huh? MANDY I'm risking my neck. You're gonna cut me in for some of the green, too. NICK Uh-Uh. No…all right. Look. I'll have to ask Darrell about it. He's not gonna like bringing in anybody new. INT. USPIS SURVEILLANCE VAN INSPECTOR JOE WASHINGTON Our suspect in the car, Darrell Henderson, has priors for weapons charges. Do this one by the book. EXT. PARKING LOT NICK I said we'll see, all right? Now, I need those names. MANDY You got one of those credit cards on you? Give me one. Let me go buy my baby some clothes. That's the least you can do. And we'll talk about everything else later. NICK All right. Whatever. WASHINGTON (O.C., via WALKIE-TALKIE) That's it. NICK Here. Now, don't go crazy with that. Don't shop anywhere people know you. And don't say a word to Darrell about this. Are we cool? Are we cool? MANDY Yeah, we are cool. EXT. CRIME SCENE - NIGHT INSPECTOR IN CHARGE BILL EVANS Darrell and Nick are serving time in a Federal prison, right now. And Mandy lost her job. Unfortunately for the Pattersons, it took several months and hundreds of dollars in legal fees to clean up their credit reports and clear their good name. In the meantime, their dream home was sold to another buyer, and they're still struggling to repair all the damage done by these crooks. The really sad thing is it might have been prevented by following four simple steps. First of all, deposit all outgoing mail in a blue postal collection box, rather than using your residential mailbox. In some parts of the country, theft from residential mailboxes is a real problem. Second, shred or burn all unwanted preapproved credit applications and financial statements, old credit cards, and other documents. Thieves often will go through trash containers or even dumpsters to find these items and use them to steal your identity. Third, once a year, order a copy of your own credit report, especially before making large purchases like a new home or car. Check it carefully for any activity that you did not authorize. Also, check for accounts you might have forgotten to close. Sometimes thieves take over these old accounts and use them to order new credit cards and checks. Fourth, limit the amount of personal information that you give out over the telephone and Internet. Try to ensure that you only provide such information to reputable companies, and be sure to read their policies on confidentiality to be sure they aren't sharing your information with anyone else. If you think you've been the victim of identity theft, then you need to report it. Contact your local United States Postal Inspector. You can find the number on our website at: USPS.COM/POSTALINSPECTORS. Identity theft is the fastest-growing crime in America, but it doesn't have to happen to you.