INT. EVENING. SMALL COLLEGE TOWN LAUNDROMAT ABBEY Time! Let's log off, Becky, and get out of here. BECKY Hey, I got eight hits on that last batch of "help wanted" ads. I was right in the middle of chatting with Stuart, the clown from Pittsburgh who thinks we're going to get married. ABBEY Did he get that check you sent him last week to help with the wedding expenses? BECKY Yeah. Just give it a few days, let the money show up in his account, and Bam! I'll get him to send it right back to me. You know, I'll make up some emergency expense that suddenly came up that I had to cover. Fool won't know what hit him. ABBEY What did you tell this one? BECKY Oh, this one? I told him that I am putting myself through nursing school, modeling underwear for catalogues. ABBEY That's one is almost too easy. The guy probably had never had a real date in his life. BECKY Yeah, but he's still going to wonder why I bailed on him in the chat. ABBEY You know the rules. Never stay wired for more than thirty minutes. (BEAT) I've already sniffed another open network near the motel. We can log on there later and finish up. BECKY Okay, but I still want to call him. I don't want him to start getting suspicious or something before I've hit him up for the green. ABBEY But use the prepaid phone and keep it short. I don't want him to have anything to connect back to us. BECKY Chill, Abs. I know the drill. ABBEY Well don't screw up. I'm like Paris, baby. Orange ain't my color. INT. USPIS OFFICES-TECHNICAL SPECIALISTS LAB INSPECTOR LANG So, who are you supposed to be today, Niece? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE I'm a sixty-three-year-old woman named Brenda, recently retired from school teaching, and I've settled in New Mexico. INSPECTOR LANG Yeah, I can see that. You already got the divorce and the cat. That could totally be you in about thirty years. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE That's cute, Lang. I wonder what that says about you, though. You play better females than I do. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD She's got a point, Howie. Remember that mope from Nigeria last month? I think he was in love with you. (CATCALLS from other agents) INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD, CONT’D Any leads on our "work at home" scams out west? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Yeah. There's several new job listings on one of the resume websites this morning. It's the usual pitch. "Wanted: International company seeks payment processor." These guys claim they're from Ireland, and they need someone to process payments to avoid paying customs fees. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD You thinking it's our "coffee shop bandits?" INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Fits their "M.O." INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE (V.O.) The "coffee shop bandits"... that's what we've been calling them for weeks now. We've tracked them to a series of coffee shops, hotels, laundromats, and other locations in the Southwest. They use public Wi-Fi hotspots to connect to the Internet wirelessly. Their scams cover a whole range of Internet fraud with one common link—they all depend on counterfeit checks and money orders. The payment processing clerk con is one of their favorites. They target people who want or need to work from home—retirees, single moms with kids, even people with disabilities. Once the person accepts the job as a payment processor, they're asked to open a checking account for the overseas business. In a few days a series of checks arrive from their customers. The new employee is told to deposit these checks, and once they've cleared, to wire ninety percent of the money to their employer. The clerk is told they can keep ten percent of the payments as their salary. When they check their available balance, the money is there. But actually it can take weeks for a check to clear or be discovered as counterfeit. INT. BANK FEMALE VICTIM But the ATM said that the funds were available. BANK EMPLOYEE Yes, it did. At the time it was in there but in five or six business days. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE (V.O.) If the person withdraws money during this period, then they become responsible for covering the bank's loss. FEMALE VICTIM But I've spent some of the money... INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE (V.O.) We've seen victims lose tens of thousands of dollars on this type of scam. INT. USPIS CONFERENCE ROOM INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD This job posting is nearly identical to the one we saw last week. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Hey, if it's working, why change? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE (V.O.) There are thousands of new people who lookå at these "help wanted" postings every day. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Where did you tell him you lived? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Truth Or Consequences. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Priceless. INT. USPIS OFFICES-TECHNICAL SPECIALISTS LAB INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Okay, so what else we got on these guys, Derek? DEREK FULTON Well, first of all, they're not guys. Remember that last trace that we ran? An inspector went to the scene. Ran into a dead end. They got their room with a stolen credit card...fake names on the registration. But he spotted an ATM across the street, and we managed to get these photos. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD But these photos, they don't give us a whole lot to go on. DEREK FULTON You underestimate me. Another phone was used in three of the bandits locations. And this phone, it's not a prepaid cell phone. It's registered to a Becky Meyers of Key Largo, Florida. NCIC says she got a list of arrests for all kinds of petty stuff—everything from shoplifting to bad checks. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Okay, I'm impressed. Any idea who her friend is, Sherlock? DEREK FULTON Hey, man, I had to leave something for you guys to do, right? EXT. GAS STATION, DESERT ABBEY You're not calling one of the punks on that phone, are you? BECKY No, dope. I'm calling Mikey. I need to get some refills on those checks. ABBEY Your boyfriend gives me the creeps. BECKY Whatever. You don't like any of my men. Besides, he's better than anybody we know with Photoshop. Look how legit these things looy. ABBEY I told you to stop flashing those! You're going to blow this whole deal! BECKY I'm going to blow this whole deal? There wouldn't be a deal if it wasn't for me! This sweet ride... my deal! ABBEY Hardly! You and your boyfriend would still be passing bad checks for beer money at the Piggly Wiggly if it wasn't for me! BECKY Still, you've got to admit, Mikey's got good hands...and mad skills on that printer. INT. USPIS OFFICE INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD So what did you turn up on Becky Meyers? INSPECTOR LANG Hey, I'll check you a little later. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Thanks. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE According to her parole officer, her printer is a local loser named Michael Friedman. They've been an item since high school. He spends most of his time playing those multi-player games online, printing counterfeit checks, just as a way for him to keep the lights on. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD So who's playing "Thelma" to her "Louise?" INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Our best bet is another high school friend, Abbey Seals. She was a computer science major at FSU until she dropped out last year. Miami cops busted her on a DUI a few months back, Becky Meyers in the car. Almost violated her parole, but the judge cut her a break. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD So this Abbey Seals may have helped take their bad check racket high-tech? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Looks like it. Trouble is, her PO says she's skipped. Hasn't check in in three months. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD That fits the timeline to our scams. But we still can't actually connect them to any of the frauds, or any of the victims' wire transfers. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Which brings us back to Brenda, from Truth Or Consequences. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD All right, do it. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE I'm on it. EXT. DESERTED DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATRE BECKY Oh, damn it! Stupid freaking woman! God! ABBEY What is it? BECKY It's that woman from New Mexico, the teacher. Now she can't figure out how to send a simple wire transfer. She deposited those checks like two weeks ago. If she doesn't send the money soon, the bank's going to tip her off, and the whole thing is going to fall apart. How can one woman be so dense? ABBEY Did she email you? BECKY No, we're chatting on IM. Oh wait, get this. She didn't trust the guy at the wire service. Good God! Stupid broad took the money out in cash! ABBEY Well, how much? BECKY Ninety percent. Almost thirty thousand dollars. ABBEY You're kidding. Now what? BECKY Well, she's wants to meet in person so she can deliver it. ABBEY Doesn't she think the company is located in Ireland? BECKY Yes, but remember? She thinks we have an office in Forth Worth. ABBEY Yeah, okay, okay. No way in hell do we ever meet anyone in person. That's the rule, remember? BECKY Yes. ABBEY Well, we have to think of something else. BECKY Are you kidding me? Stupid hag could barely open the account. She's never going to brainstorm a wire transfer. And besides, the bank is going to call her any day now and tip her off. The money's going to walk. ABBEY Then it walks. We never meet anyone in person. (Stopwatch BEEPS) ABBEY Time! BECKY What? Bull! ABBEY Log off. BECKY No, no! What am I going to tell her? Come on. It's thirty grand! ABBEY Tell her you'll call her later. Now log off, Becky. I mean it! INT. USPIS OFFICE INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE She just logged off. She said she was going to call me on the phone. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Do you think they bought it? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE I don't know. They've been playing it really safe. They might not be willing to risk a meeting in person. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD We better hope that they're getting greedy. If they keep using these web-based email services to open networks, limiting their access time, we're never going to be able to connect them to any of these "work at home" scams. (Cell phone RINGS) INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Phone! INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Hold on, hold on, hold on. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Caller ID says, "unknown." It's her. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Yeah, trace that call. Go. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Hello? BECKY Hi there, Brenda? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Oh, hello, dear. EXT. DRIVE-IN BECKY Hey listen, I was thinking that you really shouldn't come all the way to Fort Worth, especially carrying all that cash on you. We're concerned about our liability, because our insurance wouldn't cover it if anything happened to you. INT. USPIS OFFICE INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Oh, I just don't trust those wire services, dear. My father tried to wire money to my Uncle Benjamin once when he was having twin girls. And he tried to wire it to Tulsa, Okaylahoma, but it went to another Benjamin in Kansas City. They didn't even have the same last name. Kansas City is nowhere near Tulsa. EXT. DRIVE-IN BECKY Yeah, I know where Tulsa is, Brenda. Hey, listen, my partner and I, we're going to be in your area. We're going to be looking at some land that we're considering. Why don't you at least let us meet you halfway there, you know, to save you some trouble. INT. USPIS OFFICE INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Oh, it's no problem, dear, to drive to Fort Worth. I have a half sister in Irving. I've been dying to see her miniatures collection. EXT. DRIVE-IN BECKY No, no, no, Brenda, really, I insist. Listen, Friday, let's meet at—we’re gonna be at—you know what? Why don't we meet at Alamogordo. Do you know where Alamogordo is? INT. USPIS OFFICE INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Oh, certainly, dear. Everyone knows where Alamogordo is. That's where they tested the first atomic bombs in the 1940's. It was part of the Manhattan Project. That's a funny name, actually, as it was here in New Mexico and nowhere near New York. EXT. DRIVE-IN BECKY Well, that was really fascinating, Brenda. Well, listen, okay, Friday it is. I'll call you on your cell phone when we get there, like right around lunchtime. Of course, I'll bring you a receipt. All right, well listen, Friday it is. I've got to go, Brenda. Okay? All right. Bye bye. (CLICKS cell phone shut) Harmless. We'll meet her in the middle of nowhere, in and out, ten minutes, we're done. Less if I could get her to shut up for five seconds. Cake. ABBEY I still don't like it. What if she's a cop? BECKY I swear, you must think I'm mental. Listen, I'll go in there, and I'll talk to her. You wait, out in the car. If something smells funny, we'll walk. Can't tie us to the phone calls, or the checks. INT. USPIS OFFICE INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Thank you. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Did you get it? INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Yep. It's the same signature as the phone used to call the other victims. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE I'd like to see their lawyer explain that one. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD We're still going to need them to show up for the transfer in order to pick them up. I mean, by the time they do this trace, they could be a hundred miles from here. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE No problem, we'll pick them up on Friday. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Aren't you kind of forgetting something? INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE What? INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD They're expecting a sixty-three-year-old named Brenda. EXT. ALAMOGORDO - DAY INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD (on radio) It's after one. Look sharp, everyone. Possible suspect vehicle—white Ford Mustang, late model. We couldn't make the tags off the ATM photo. INSPECTOR LANG Location two, clear. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Niece, they called you again? INT. DINER INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE No, it's been forty-five minutes. She said they were running late. They'll be here. EXT. STREET OUTSIDE DINER POLICE OFFICER Our suspect is approaching, east side of the street. No sign of her partner. INT. DINER INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Bingo. (Becky ENTERS) INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Becky, dear. BECKY Brenda, I wasn't sure that was you. Sorry we're running late. It took a little longer to tour the property. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Oh, that's fine, dear. I've just been sitting here enjoying my tea, and reading up on the history of this wonderful little town. Did you know that Robert Oppenheimer was almost convicted of being a traitor and a spy? Can you imagine? BECKY You look a lot younger that I expected. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Oh, you're sweet, dear. INT. POLICE CAR Okay, okay, Thelma's getting nervous. I don't think she's buying Niece's makeup. Find Louise, fast! EXT. STREET POLICE OFFICER I got her. She's parked just down from the war wagon - white Mustang in that alley. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD I’m on it, Lang. Watch my back. Everyone else cover Niece. Wait for my signal. INT. DINER INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE I have the money right here. I put it in this bag. I didn't want to attract attention, you know. It's under my needle point. BECKY No, that's okay, Granny. You keep it. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Federal Agent! You're under arrest! BECKY No! No, no, no! This is a complete crap! I didn't touch that money. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Police! Police! Freeze! Hands up! Hands up! Clear the door, folks, please clear the door. Thank you. Listen, everybody, thanks for your help. I need everybody outside. There's nothing else to see here. Thank you very much. Get up. EXT. DINER INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Howie, she's all yours. Have a nice day. Did you have any trouble with their friend? INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Nah. She's already trying to pin the entire scam on Becky and her boyfriend. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Yeah, she didn't take the bait. She's got several phony checks in her purse. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Well, we're still going through the car, but so far, we've got a lot of fake checks, prepaid cell phones, and your little friend Derek is going to have a field day with the laptops. Oh yeah, we got a whole lot of love letters from Mikey the printer. Can't wait to send in the Miami team. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Did you recover any of the victim's moneys? INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Not a whole lot. About eight grand on them. Whole lot of neat toys and swag from the shopping sprees though. INSPECTOR MICHELE NIECE Yeah, well at least they're off the street. INSPECTOR ALAN GODDARD Yeah, this time they're all looking at ten to twenty for mail fraud. You know, I've got to tell you. You look...ridiculous. I told you you weren't going to pass for sixty-three. What's the matter with you? EXT. STREET INSPECTOR IN CHARGE BILL DAVIS Thanks to some solid police work and the efforts of the Technical Services Division, these two high-tech crooks are behind bars. Unfortunately, there are hundreds more of them out there, operating these scams from around the world. Remember, on the Internet, these crooks can pretend to be anyone that they want. Often, they construct elaborate fronts to make them seem legitimate—fake websites, phony pictures, even references that can vouch for them. We refer to this as "the anonymity of the Internet." But don't be fooled. There are very few legitimate jobs that allow you to work from your home, and none that involve processing checks or money orders. To avoid falling into these traps, remember these important tips. Number one: Never accept a check or money order for payment for any items if the check is greater than the amount owed to you. These so-called "overpayment scams" seem like a ticket to easy money, but usually leave the victim with an overdrawn account and empty pockets. Number two: Just because your ATM or bank statement says "funds available" doesn't mean that the check has actually cleared. By law, banks must make funds available to you in a few days. After that you can access the funds, but the check may not clear for weeks. Until the check does clear, you're legally responsible for the deposit, as well as any funds that you withdraw. Number three: Many lottery or sweepstakes frauds involve counterfeit checks. You receive a check for a portion of your winnings and are told to deposit it. You're then instructed to use a portion of these moneys to pay for taxes or fees, with a promise of even bigger winnings to come. Don't buy it. It may seem like easy money, but it will cost you big in the end. And lastly, don't forget your good common sense. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There are no "get rich quick" schemes, and you can be sure that no one needs your help to transfer millions of dollars into or out of their country. Cops call these types of scams "419 fraud." They've been around for years, only now they've been updated for the information age. Play it safe, and log off on these fake check scams. For more information on how to avoid counterfeit check fraud, visit our website at www.fakechecks.org.